Birth Story by Jess, Hypnobirthing Mum
“There he was, our son Leo Mattheus, suddenly, on my belly. My belly that held him, my belly that connected us for all of these months. He was finally here, on the other side – earth side. His beautiful open eyes that had just met mine, his incredible vernix spread all over his beautiful, healthy, long, 10 pound body.”
It was the night before our birthing day. My husband Tiaan and I practised our birth routine in the lounge, surrounded by warm coloured fairy lights hung on the curtains, and positive birthing affirmations placed around the room. As we moved through our flow of tools and techniques, our three fur babies were sleeping beside us, enjoying the calm birth music playing in the background. We practised this routine every second night from 37 weeks. We were now at an estimate of 40 weeks and 2 days.
When we were finished, I sat in bed and wrote in our pregnancy journal to our baby boy. I let him know that no matter how eager I had been to meet him earth side, I released all pressure and would wait for him to be ready too. I drifted off to sleep.
Two hours later, on the 3rd of March, I woke around 1.30am with pulling sensations in my uterus. I checked in with my baby, and asked, could this be our day? I breathed through each sensation and went back to sleep when they were finished. At 2.15am I went to the toilet and I saw that my membranes had released. As I realised that this was time for Leo to move down the birth path, my soul calmly lit up with excitement and I entered a realm of strong intuition, using tools that were embedded in my subconscious.
Let’s continue this routine, I thought. I went back to bed to sleep, wake, and breathe through each sensation. This worked until I felt that the sensations intensified. At 4am I got out of bed and tried to consume water and one grape. I vomited twice. Tiaan began to inflate the birthing pool in the lounge.
I felt a sense of calm as I listened to the water run from the tap in the ensuite. As I leant on the vanity, I remembered what I learned in our Hypnobirthing course. Loose and limp, I dropped all tension in my body. I listened to the water run. Using a face cloth, I dabbed cold water on my forehead while the sensations lasted. I did not count the length of the surges, I just went to a place of comfort.
I was pleased to get a break between each surge. In each break, I would put on my fluffy winter dressing gown, sit on the bed and fall asleep in a seated position. I used to think it was absurd that Mothers could drift off to sleep in labour, but, I get it now.
I would wake a minute or two later, and as soon as another wave of a surge began I was back at the vanity running water. Back again, listening to the water, which I imagined to be a waterfall. I would close my eyes and visualise the birds around me in my favourite local forest, Hemi Matenga. I could hear the birds sing in harmony. As everything continued to intensify, Tiaan provided comfort and support by performing acupressure and massage on my back.
It was now 7am. I moved into the lounge in between each surge. I moved into different positions against the wall, just like I practiced on the gym ball in pregnancy. When a surge appeared I would go back to the ensuite and run the tap. We were at peace and we had found a good rhythm.
We called Sheryl, our midwife at 07:14 am. We were unsure if it was time for her to come over for the birth but I still felt that I would appreciate her presence so we asked her to come over in the next hour anyway. With a calm voice full of support and encouragement, she let us know that she would soon be on her way. Tiaan continued to apply acupressure on my back, and gave me a gentle massage on my neck as we welcomed in a new stage of much stronger sensations. I stayed connected to myself and my baby.
Tiaan and I pondered over whether we should pull out the TENS machine, but I made the choice to leave it as I wanted to feel everything. I surrendered.
At 08:15 I could hear the sound of Sheryl’s calm voice in the lounge. She had arrived with an electrolyte drink. I felt a sense of contentment that she was now here with Tiaan and I. She calmly stood in the corner and watched me complete a surge in the ensuite. I remember her confidently and calmly saying that I was doing really well. At this point I had four long surges within ten minutes. Both Tiaan and Sheryl applied stronger acupressure on my back as the waves got bigger.
I initially declined a physical examination, but I was curious to see how dilated I was and requested that we check. I was 8-9 cms. I accepted that there is always the chance that it may decrease, however if dilation continued to increase, the pool may not be filled up enough in time. In pregnancy I had prepared my mind to birth anywhere, so this was ok with me.
At 10am, Ange, Sheryl’s practice partner who is also an amazing midwife, joined us in the lounge. We had the privilege to have met her a number of times in pregnancy. Both midwives are an incredibly knowledgeable and empowering team.
As my surges continued to increase and intensify, I hopped into the pool in the lounge which had a decent amount of water in it now. It was warm and relaxing. Mesmerised by the speakers playing our birthing music that we had listened to most nights in pregnancy, I thought to myself, we are here!
After some time I felt like I could not push my legs against anything, when I was in a seated position. I turned on all fours and found slight comfort this way. We all worked together: Tiaan, Sheryl, Ange, myself, and most importantly our baby boy. Everyone encouraged me. The surges intensified immensely. We knew we were so much closer to meeting our baby earthside.
As we progressed into the next stage, I was not mentally prepared to feel the type of sensations that I now began to feel. What I did mentally prepare myself for, was to do everything I could to meet whatever turn we would take on this birthing journey, so that meant working to embrace these new and unexpected feelings. Initially, it was not easy to accept and embrace, but I knew that deep down, I could trust my mind and body, my baby, and those around me.
As the sensations moved around my body and intensified even more, I began to feel fear creep in, and a sense of overwhelm. I asked for peace and quiet, to gather myself. I went to put my mouth on Tiaan’s arm for what I thought would provide comfort. This was a big no no, just in case I bit him mid-surge. I asked to be guided with my breathing – but we all knew that this meant that it was time to come back to myself. Instead of showing me what to do, everyone gave me space to reconnect with myself and our baby. I often look back and wonder, perhaps this was the transition phase that we learned about.
Although these sensations were not like the others, I was very relieved to get a noticeably longer break in between them. The breaks were just what I needed. As I recollected myself I embraced the breaks that prepared me for what was to come. They allowed me to move into a relaxed state, so relaxed that I could have drifted off to sleep.
The sun shone brightly into the lounge and hugged the room with its warmth. As each surge crept back in, I moved into a few positions with guidance from our midwives. My body had another agenda and moved into other positions.
The sliding door was pulled open, and in came a breeze of fresh, warm air. I chewed on an ice block to cool down. Although the water was relaxing, the heat in my body continued to rise and I needed to find a position that worked for baby and I.
My hands were held and my body was supported as I moved to the couch, in between a surge. Our midwives and Tiaan guided me into position. I pushed up against everyone. It was 11:00 and baby Leo’s head made an appearance. Just like the pool, we had progressed, but we soon moved on from there too.
At 11.15am, we made our way to the floor for more space. I was guided into an elevated, seated-back position, leaning right back with my head against the ottoman. I pushed against Sheryl and Ange, with my hands held and Tiaan right by my side. Sheryl applied a warm compress on my perineum. Our cat Boots was laying behind me on the ottoman that I leant my head against, without any worry in the world that his Mother was making animal sounds, about to birth a precious little human. Our other cat Benny was behind the couch, and our dog Frankie was sitting right next to Tiaan.
Leo was Born
It was 11.25am. Guiding me with her words, Sheryl suggested that I slowly and gently push. I felt so much relief as I knew that we were now here. With that sense of relief, I gently, and slowly pushed. Half a second later I felt a very short-lived ring of fire, and I heard the rest of the fluid come out, like the sound of a balloon releasing water.
After this came the birth of our son Leo.
Magic. He made it.
There he was, our son Leo Mattheus, suddenly, on my belly. My belly that held him, my belly that connected us for all of these months. He was finally here, on the other side – earth side.
His beautiful open eyes that had just met mine, his incredible vernix spread all over his beautiful, healthy, long, 10 pound body.
Leo’s placenta was birthed with great power as I held him so gently, feeling overwhelmed with an immense rush of unconditional love that I have never felt before.
His chord connected to his placenta yet to come, that I was relieved to have birthed naturally, 15 minutes later with a push after one contraction.
I gazed at Tiaan as he beamed at our beautiful boy who made him a Father. Tiaan played a big role in our birthing dance by taking part in the flow of every movement. In pregnancy we created a birthing affirmation – “we work together as one, in harmony”. Indeed, we did. Tiaan, our midwives, Baby Leo and I.
After some time, when Leo’s chord had stopped pulsating and turned white, our midwives guided Tiaan to cut Leo’s chord and tie it with Muka.
As we continued to soak up these first moments, I embraced skin to skin with our boy, and our midwives inspected my perineum. No need for sutures. They pressed on my stomach to check for any clotting. I was delighted to hear that everything was ok.
Sheryl and Ange observed Leo’s placenta and confirmed that it looked good. They passionately shared their knowledge with us, about the incredible organ that nourished our sweet baby in the womb. I looked at the Tree of Life with immense gratitude for providing our son with all that he needed. We made the choice to keep Leo’s placenta and plant it in our garden under a Protea.
I had never imagined that I could ever enter a dream as beautiful as this. I held Leo in a haze of immense love and connection.
We moved to the couch for comfort. I did not think that I could appeal to a cup of tea and a dry meat snack (droëwors) any more than I already did, until I sat here on this day.. I felt as if I had run two half marathons back to back – with the best outcome at the finish line that is! Leo seemed hungry and appeared to want my breast. He latched on and off, on and off. This was an incredibly new experience and I was nervous. Our midwives guided us as we walked through this new experience.
After lots of skin to skin with our son, Tiaan enjoyed his first skin to skin cuddle with Leo while Sheryl and Ange helped me shower. They even made our bed (we felt so blessed as it helped us feel a sense of normality hours later).
The precious moments with Leo in these hours will always feel like an incredible dream. Time has passed so quickly since then. We are embracing every moment with our little man and we hold onto him with unconditional love.
Our birth story is incredibly special to us. When I first imagined birthing our baby naturally, I felt fear due to immense societal conditioning. Hearing the confidence and faith in our midwife Sheryl’s voice when she spoke of her birthing experiences opened our eyes to considering that perhaps we could have a positive story too. We walked out of our first antenatal appointment with the thought of birthing our baby in the birthing centre as an option, and “potentially” birthing at home..
After self research and exploration of positive home birthing stories, we came to the conclusion that we wanted to birth at home. We went on to attend a hypnobirthing course with the lovely Kate Eakin from Positively Hypnobirthing where we learned about birthing options, past and current birth interventions, pregnancy and birthing tools, the physiology of the body and baby in labour and birth, and how to prepare for any path that our birth may take.
Our practice birth routine, the Rebozo we performed in pregnancy, and the breathing techniques embedded into my subconscious were just a handful of the many useful tools and techniques that we learned from our four week course with Kate. Kate empowered us to see our pregnancy and birthing experience in a positive light by helping us to be informed, express and release our fears, and she provided great encouragement with her warming and uplifting energy.
Our midwife Sheryl was in full support of us attending our course and we were very grateful for this alignment.
Our intuition, research and exploration, wonderful midwifery care from our midwives Sheryl and Ange from Kapiti Midwives, extensive course with Kate, and a great book: Gentle Birth, Gentle Mothering by Dr Sarah Buckley, helped to guide us in the incredible dance of our pregnancy and birth of our precious baby Leo.
Being someone that once feared this way of birthing, I am so pleased that we chose this path for ourselves and for baby Leo. I will always be happy with our research, preparation, and the preparation to accept any path that our pregnancy and birthing path could take. Most importantly I am incredibly grateful that our son made it here safely.
We took part in the magical dance of bringing our baby earth side – we did it.
Join my Gold Coast Group Hypnobirthing Course
